


Tis the Rum, My Son

by Medie



Series: Saltwater Soldier [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Newfie!Bucky, Newfoundland, Tumblr Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-16 10:49:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4622508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Medie/pseuds/Medie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky introduces Thor to some rather *memorable* Migardian booze he picked up in Newfoundland.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tis the Rum, My Son

**Author's Note:**

> tygermama ambushed me last night with the following prompt: "Newfie!Bucky scoffing in the face of Thor's thousand-year-old booze and handing him a bottle of Screech" and apparently he had FEELINGS about this.
> 
> Story does not immediately follow [The Boy in the Barn](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4599603) but is set sometime after.

It's the principle of the thing, really. It just has to be done. Somebody has to defend humanity's pride and, well, hey, Ed always sends him back to New York with a bottle of the good stuff tucked in his luggage. ("Bless 'em, son, but nobody down there knows a goddamn thing about drinking. I tried it during the war and it was *awful*. Here, take this with you. You need more before you come home, you call Annie, she can send it down from Toronto.")

Bucky spares it along, usually, because he doesn't want to bother Annie. She never complains, but he's basically stolen her parents and it's still awkward. He sometimes thinks about introducing her to Maria and Natasha to make up for it, but then he pictures the trifecta of terrifying competence and it's not that he's chickenshit, it's that, well, that is a level of fucking scary even he doesn't want to contemplate. 

So he doesn't. He spares it along and tries to make it last between trips home and, hey, if he occasionally gets to troll somebody with it? It's worth it. He's still snickering at the face Tony'd made. ("Oh my *god* Barnes, this is--I think I saw God. Or something. Probably not The God, but maybe Thor's dad? There was beard and disapproving scowl anyway, what the hell *is this*?")

Except, apparently, there is a thing about Thor where everybody tries shoving new booze at him. Bucky's not sure if they're trying to get him drunk or just one-up that Asgadian hooch he keeps crowing about; either way, he's not going to waste the good stuff on that.

Until he does, because seriously, it is the principle of the thing and when he calls Annie about it, she laughs for like ten solid minutes on the phone, pronounces it, "Fucking awesome" and a day or two later, somebody from the Canadian consulate shows up with a diplomatic packet and Bucky really, really wants to know what kind of police detective has that kind of pull. Except, no, because then she might not do this again and when he unwraps the bottle, it is *old* and he grins.

This isn't just the good stuff. This is the fucking *real deal*. 

The trick, of course is playing it right. Most of the time, Steve's the only one who can tell when he's fucking with somebody, so it's not really that hard. (He did not try Steve out on the stuff. Ed did that and it was fucking *beautiful*. "Oh my GOD, Buck, what the hell was that?")

Also, there is the matter of trying it out for himself, because he's had the local stuff, but this bottle just might be as old as he is and Bucky *knows* the burn'll be fucking awesome. It is. It SO is. He actually can't breathe for a second or two and, yeah, this just might do it. 

Especially since he times it so that Thor's just putting down his glass when he slams down his and rides it out. 

"Friend Barnes, your expression--" Thor gestures to the bottle. "Is it?"

It takes Bucky a second (because, seriously, *old fucking school* this stuff), but he finally rasps out a, "Yeah, it's a gift from home. They keep me stocked." He makes a show of looking at the bottle, then at Thor, before shrugging, "If you're curious--"

Steve drifts a little closer because, yeah, Steve's guessed and he's grinning. Bucky tries to gesture him back, because if he fucking ruins this, Stevie has to apologize to Ed and Annie both (Marjorie is, of course, a saint and an angel who would *never*. At least not unless it's in her coffee, but "that's a secret, Bucky dear, don't you be telling on me now.") as well as the bottle. *Especially* the bottle.

Thor looks delighted and gets a fresh glass. Smart man, this stuff is not to be sloppy seconds. Bucky rewards him by pouring up an even more generous helping than he did Steve.

He refills his own and then salutes. 

Thor returns it then downs the whole thing in one go. It takes a second, maybe two, before it hits him, but when it does?

Fuck yeah.

Settling back with his glass, Bucky smirks at him. "Asgard might know rainbow bridges, but you guys know jackshit about booze."

Thor looks at the bottle, at him, and then at the bottle again. "Friend Barnes," he rasps, eyes watering just a touch, his voice even hoarser than Bucky's was, "Might I perhaps know where you acquired this? I do not believe the home of which you spoke was Brooklyn."

"Nope," Bucky agrees, letting the sound of the p pop as he does. He takes a slug of the Screech and then considers it. "Get me a pen and I'll get you Ed's number. He knows a guy."

One thing no one expected to be doing when Asgard and Earth made contact was negotiating a trade agreement; absolutely *no one* in Canada thought the first one would be negotiated with them. Even less thought that it would be *rum* that they were negotiating about. 

Bucky isn't surprised one goddamn bit.


End file.
